Marrying Your Cousin

Welcome to Celebrate Poe - Episode 269 - Marrying Your Cousin

Many people believe that one of the most controversial subjects regarding Poe is the fact that he married his much younger cousin. Virginia Eliza Clemm. - I guess you could say that the relationship began as a familial bond. Poe first met Virginia when she was seven years old, and he was twenty. Over time, their relationship evolved into a romantic one, culminating in their marriage when Virginia was 13 and Poe was 27 - a relationship that many scholars believe was more like one between siblings that a romantic relationship.

While marrying first cousins was not uncommon or particularly scandalous at the time, Virginia's young age was unusual even by 19th century standards. The average age of first marriage for women in the U.S. during that period was above 20 years old.

Transcript

Welcome to Celebrate Poe - Episode 269 - Marrying Your Cousin

Link to The Loves of Edgar Allan Poe  67 minutes
https://archive.org/details/TheLovesOfEdgarAllanPoe

Link to clip or Jane Darwell in “The Grapes of Wrath”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJLvgWx-h54

Link to clip of Jane Darwell and Julie Andrews in “Mary Poppins”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5Wb_sTdJV

This podcast episode begins with an important figure in Edgar Allan Poe's life, primarily through his connection to Poe's wife Virginia and mother-in-law Maria.   And that figure is William Clemm Jr - the husband of Maria Clemm.

Now the name "Maria" is typically pronounced in one of two ways in English:

mə-REE-ə (rhymes with "Korea")
mə-RYE-ə (rhymes with “pariah")

According to perplexity.ai - Given that Maria Clemm was born in Baltimore in 1790, it's more likely that her name followed the first pronunciation (mə-REE-ə). This pronunciation was more common in English-speaking countries during that time period.  But I have heard both - including MaRYEa in some films about Edgar Allan Poe - so take your pic.  

So I am going to say Maria - Maria, Maria - I’ll never stop saying Maria!
Hope I don’t get sued by the West Side Story estate.  

Now getting back to MaRYEa - her husband, was William Clemm Jr. who had a business at 114 N. Howard Street in Baltimore. William Clemm Jr. was born in 1779 and died in 1826. William Clemm Jr. married Maria Poe - who was Edgar Allan Poe's aunt -  on July 13, 1817.

William and Maria had three children together:
Henry (born September 10, 1818)
Virginia Marie (born August 22, 1820, who died in infancy)
Virginia Eliza (born August 13, 1822)

Now let me try and explain the connection to Edgar Allan Poe and his somewhat problematic marriage - at least by the standards of many people today.

This has got to be one of the most controversial subjects regarding Poe - the fact that he married his much younger cousin. Virginia Eliza Clemm. - I guess you could say that the relationship began as a familial bond. Poe first met Virginia when she was seven years old, and he was twenty. Over time, their relationship evolved into a romantic one, culminating in their marriage when Virginia was 13 and Poe was 27 - a relationship that many scholars believe was more like one between siblings that a romantic relationship.

While marrying first cousins was not uncommon or particularly scandalous at the time, Virginia's young age was unusual even by 19th century standards. The average age of first marriage for women in the U.S. during that period was above 20 years old.

The large age gap between Poe (27) and Virginia (13) would have been considered more scandalous than the fact they were cousins. Marriages between young teens and adults were legal but uncommon - the age of consent in Maryland at the time was 10 with guardian approval.

I personally think most people today would look at such a marriage with a dim view - but when you look back, it might be easier to understand why Poe married someone he was related to.

I believe that Poe's motivations for the marriage likely included a desire to unite what little family he had left, because  had lost both birth parents at a young age.  By the way, Virginia’s mother, Maria - or Muddy - Clemm (Poe's aunt), consented to and encouraged the union.

Now back in Season One, episode 85, I talk about the positives and flaws of a fascinating movie about a movie that I think gets a lot more right about Edgar Allan Poe than most films - and that movie is The Loves of Edgar Allan Poe.  The should be links to the movie at the beginning of this transcript - if not you can use the YouTube search bar with the words The Loves of Edgar Allan Poe, and later Jane Darwell.

I think the movie really gets it right compared to most films about Poe - there is a point to this - but I think one of the movie’s strongest points is the performance by the great Jane Darwell - as Maria, you saw her concern for the actor playing Edgar Allan Poe, and she gives you chills with just the expressions on her face. I like to think her role was similar to Renfield in Dracula - she had a supporting part and stole the show, just as Renfield had a supporting role in the movie, but also stole the show - but I digress.  Jane Darwell was in over 100 movies, and is instantly recognizable as the kind, loving motherly type.   She was in Gone with the Wind, had the lead in Tugboat Annie, and got an academy award as best supporting actress in “The Grapes of Wrath.” 

Underneath the URL for The Loves of Edgar Allan Poe, I have included the URLs for two youtube clips - the first is from Grapes of Wrath where she is getting ready to leave Oklahama for what is hopefully a better life during the Depression.  Along with her family, she has been uprooted from her home through no fault of her own.   Her family is cast out on the road, and in this brief scene she is trying to decide which items to take with her. Watch her face in this less than two minute clip - especially her longing look when she holds a pair of earings up to her ears. She was such a great actress that she could make a simple action like holding up some old jewelry a moving statement about memory and loss.

And the second URL is from the first version of Mary Poppins.  It is said that Walt Disney wanted her for the role of the Bird Woman - in her eighties at the time, Jane Darwell had retired from show business and was living in a retirement home.  She told Walt Disney no, and Disney personally drove out to her retirement home to convince her to change her mind. She eventually agreed.

I don’t know how much Jane Darwell actually knew about Poe’s life, but I can’t help but thinking that she was acting - and she could act - as almost a mother substitute - and the reality of Poe marrying his cousin becomes less shocking to us today - almost as though he was marrying into the family he never had.  

But I digress ….

It is a simple reality that Muddy - I will occasionally refer to as Muddy to  avoid the Maria/MarEYEa choice - played a crucial maternal role in Poe’s life.  After Poe's estrangement from his foster father, he had. sought refuge with Muddy, who provided stability and support. Poe referred to her as "mother" and held her in high regard.

Poe's emotional bond with Maria was strong, as evidenced by his poem "To My Mother," which he dedicated to her. This poem highlights the depth of his affection and gratitude towards Maria, whom he may have considered more of a mother than his biological one.

To My Mother
By Edgar Allan Poe

Because I feel that, in the Heavens above,
The angels, whispering to one another,
Can find, among their burning terms of love,
None so devotional as that of “Mother,”
Therefore by that dear name I long have called you—
You who are more than mother unto me,
And fill my heart of hearts, where Death installed you
In setting my Virginia's spirit free.
My mother—my own mother, who died early,
Was but the mother of myself; but you
Are mother to the one I loved so dearly,
And thus are dearer than the mother I knew
By that infinity with which my wife
Was dearer to my soul than its soul-life.

Now ,this poem was published just a few months before Poe's death in October 1849, and it was one of Poe's final published works. It reveals a more tender, emotional side of Poe compared to his darker, more macabre works. And the poem demonstrates that Poe retained his literary skills up until shortly before his death.

And having experienced the death of both his birth parents, the death by consumption of both his foster mother and brother, Henry, and rejection by his father, it is easy to see why Poe would want to hold on to some kind of familiar love.

So it could be said that the emotional dynamics between Poe, Virginia, and Muddy were characterized by deep familial bonds, mutual support, and a shared struggle against financial and health challenges. Poe's relationships with both Virginia and Muddy were central to his personal and emotional life, profoundly influencing his literary work and personal experiences.

But getting back specifically to the issue of Poe’s marriage - you have Edgar Allan Poe marrying Virginia Clemm on May 16, 1836, when he was 27 years old and she was 13. While marrying first cousins was not uncommon or particularly scandalous at the time - and I will go into that later - Virginia’s young age was unusual even by 19th century standards. The average age of a first marriage for women in the U.S. during that period was above 20 years old.

The nature of their relationship, particularly whether it was sexual, has been debated by scholars for over a century. Some evidence suggests they may have had a "normal" marriage starting when Virginia was around 16, while other historians havae speculated the marriage was never consummated.  I guess we will never know.

Despite the unusual circumstances, many accounts describe the marriage as loving and devoted. Virginia remained with Poe until her death from tuberculosis at age 24 in 1847.

Virginia was to play perhaps the largest part in the development of Poe as a human being and was the center of his concerns - a theme that I will be talking about throughout this podcast - but to give you an idea of how deeply Poe felt regarding his love and need for Virginia, I’d like to quote from a letter he wrote to John Ingram on January 4, 1848,

"The evil was the greatest that can ever befall a man. Six years ago, a wife whom I loved as no man ever loved before, ruptured a blood vessel in singing. Her life was despaired of. I took leave of her forever and underwent all the agonies of her death. She recovered partially and I again hoped. At the end of a year the vessel broke again. I went through precisely the same scene... Each time I felt all the agonies of her death—and at each accession of the disorder I loved her more dearly and clung to her life with more desperate pertinacity. But I am constitutionally sensitive—nervous in a very unusual degree. I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. During these fits of absolute unconsciousness I drank, God only knows how often or how much. As a matter of course, my enemies referred the insanity to the drink rather than the drink to the insanity."
This extended quote provides a much deeper insight into Poe's emotional state and the tragic circumstances surrounding his wife Virginia's illness. It vividly describes the recurring nature of her health crises and the profound impact these events had on Poe's mental state and behavior.”

And many scholars, especially Andrew Berger, have written that Poe wrote his classic poem Eulalie, as published in the American Review issue of July 1845, about Virginia.

I dwelt alone
In a world of moan,
And my soul was a stagnant tide,
Till the fair and gentle Eulalie became my blushing bride—
Till the yellow-haired young Eulalie became my smiling bride.

Ah, less—less bright
The stars of the night
Than the eyes of the radiant girl!
And never a flake
That the vapour can make
With the moon-tints of purple and pearl,
Can vie with the modest Eulalie's most unregarded curl—
Can compare with the bright-eyed Eulalie's most humble and careless curl.

Now Doubt—now Pain
Come never again,
For her soul gives me sigh for sigh,
And all day long
Shines, bright and strong,
Astarté within the sky,
While ever to her dear Eulalie upturns her matron eye—
While ever to her young Eulalie upturns her violet eye.
By the way, depending on your source, Astarte is the Egyptian and Phoenician goddess of beauty and love.
Virginia Poe herself actually wrote a poem to her husband that expresses her love.  It is called an acrostic - meaning that the first line begins with the first letter of his name - in this case, E - and the second line begins with the second letter of his name - which would be D - and so on with with following lines beginning with  G A R A L L A N P O E
Ever with thee I wish to roam —
Dearest my life is thine.
Give me a cottage for my home
And a rich old cypress vine,
Removed from the world with its sin and care
And the tattling of many tongues.
Love alone shall guide us when we are there —
Love shall heal my weakened lungs;
And Oh, the tranquil hours we’ll spend,
Never wishing that others may see!
Perfect ease we’ll enjoy, without thinking to lend
Ourselves to the world and its glee —
Ever peaceful and blissful we’ll be.
Saturday February 14. 1846.

And it is said that Virginia was not exactly interested in poetry, even her husband’s works, but Poe and Virginia certainly loved each other - a topic that we will revisit many times in the future.
But getting back to the issue of Poe marrying his cousin - there is more than meets the eye - especially by today’s standards.

In the 19th century, societal views on cousin marriages were complex and evolved significantly over time. Until the mid-19th century, cousin marriages were relatively common in many Western countries, including the United States and Europe. This was partly due to the shortage of unrelated spouses in many rural areas, making cousin marriages a practical choice.

In other words, you just didn’t KNOW that many people.

Cousin marriages were relatively common and culturally accepted in the early American colonies. There were no laws prohibiting such unions before 1858, and they were seen as a practical solution in small, close-knit communities where the pool of potential spouses was limited.

These marriages often had economic benefits, such as keeping property within the family and maintaining family wealth. This was particularly important in agrarian societies where land and resources were crucial for survival and prosperity.

Cousin marriages were also more common among elite and wealthy families, who used these unions to consolidate power and wealth. This practice was also seen among immigrant communities and minority religious groups who sought to preserve their cultural and social identity.

In Victorian England - for example - cousin marriages were often seen as a way to maintain strong family ties and were culturally validated. Cousin marriages were also economically productive and culturally validated, especially in societies where maintaining family wealth and status was crucial. This practice was seen as a way to keep property within the family and strengthen familial bonds.

But by the late 19th century, societal attitudes began to shift. Increasingly, cousin marriages were viewed as medically dangerous and politically backward. This change was influenced by emerging medical theories.

In other words, at the beginning of the twentieth century, we had a lot more knowledge about genetics and what damage marrying between relatives could do.

In the United States, the controversy over cousin marriages escalated, leading to state-based legislation to restrict or ban such unions. This legislative movement was part of a broader trend of regulating personal status and morality, which included laws against interracial marriages and the temperance movement.

Reports from the mid-19th century, such as those from France linking cousin marriages to an increased prevalence of deafness, fueled concerns about the health implications of such unions. These concerns were investigated and debated, contributing to the growing opposition to cousin marriages.

Overall, while cousin marriages were initially common and culturally accepted, the 19th century saw a significant shift in societal views, driven by medical, political, and social changes.

The overall perception of cousin marriage shifted from generally positive to increasingly negative due to several key factors

Scientific advancements: The 19th century saw significant developments in the understanding of genetics and heredity. As scientific knowledge progressed, there was increased scrutiny of the potential genetic risks associated with close-kin marriages.

Social and political shifts: The 19th century witnessed broader social movements. Cousin marriages, which were often associated with maintaining family wealth and status in hierarchical societies, began to be viewed as politically backward.

Legislative actions: In the United States, many states began introducing laws to restrict or ban cousin marriages between 1858 and 1919. 

Changing demographics: As populations grew and became more mobile, the practical necessity of cousin marriages in rural areas with limited spousal options decreased.

This shift in perception was not uniform across all societies. In some parts of the world, particularly in certain Islamic countries, cousin marriages remained common and socially acceptable. The change was most pronounced in Western countries, especially in the United States and parts of Europe, where cousin marriages went from being relatively common and accepted in the early 19th century to increasingly stigmatized by the end of the century.

In conclusion - and I will try and sum this up - it gradually became apparent that marriage between relatives could be genetically damaging to their descendants.  (Witness many of the earlier kings and queens in Europe where in-breeding caused their children to have significant mental and development problems.) And the 1800’s in the United States thirteen states and territories in the United States had passed legislation forbidding cousin marriages, and by 1908, sixteen states had such laws in place. Currently, thirty-one states prohibit or place restrictions on first cousin marriages, while it remains legal in nineteen states.  So you have the majority of states 
passing laws prohibiting or restricting cousin marriages.  Cousin marriage became increasingly associated with lower socioeconomic status, immigrants, and rural populations, contributing to its stigmatization among the urban middle and upper classes.  Opposition to cousin marriage became linked with ideas of social progress and modernization, even contrasting it with "primitive" or "backward" practices.

I know I have been a bit more wordy than usual, but I hope you have a better idea of how cousin marriage as a common practice during Poe’s time  became an increasingly stigmatized and legally restricted union by the century's end largely due to advances in genetics.

Join Celebrate Poe for our next episode for the return of the Ghost of Edgar Poe and one of his oddly humorous works by the name of A Loss of Breath. 

Sources include Edgar Allan Poe: A Critical Biography by Arthur Hobson Quinn, The Poe Log: A Documentary Life of Edgar Allan Poe by Dwight R. Thomas and David K. Jackson, the Baltimore Edgar Allan Poe website, and the Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe.

Thank you for listening to Celebrate Poe.